


do firemen dream of exploding sheep

by blathering_kat, fiarra



Series: eternal sunshine of the high school drama teacher's mind [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, M/M, Musicals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-07
Updated: 2012-12-07
Packaged: 2017-11-20 12:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/585539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blathering_kat/pseuds/blathering_kat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiarra/pseuds/fiarra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Zayn's first year as an English teacher, and when he hears that the drama department is doing Shakespeare - and one that they're reading this semester - he has to see. He just wasn't expecting the exploding sheep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	do firemen dream of exploding sheep

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to blathering_kat and eloiserummaging for looking this over for me. This is all blathering_kat's fault.

When asked, Zayn tells people that he met Louis at the first faculty meeting at the start of the fall term. This is, in fact, a lie. The first time they met, Louis was in the process of smuggling the skeleton from the biology room down the back staircase of the school. 

It goes something like this.

It’s the day before classes are due to start and Zayn realizes that he’s forgotten his copy of _Hamlet_ in the classroom. Granted, he has no less than two copies in his flat, but this one has all his notes from student teaching in the margins, so he drags himself out to go collect it. (He wants to start the year with _Hamlet_ because he figures teenagers like murder.) The hallways are quiet, which is why he isn’t expecting what happens as he pushes open the door to the stairwell, humming quietly to himself.

The door swings open and Zayn freezes. On the other side of the door is a man he doesn’t remember meeting at any of his new teacher orientation meetings. His hair is sticking up wildly in the back and, oddly enough, he appears to be wearing suspenders. He is also dragging a model skeleton down the stairs. Zayn clears his throat awkwardly.

“Oh, hello!” the man says, whirling around with a slightly manic smile, holding out his hand. “I’m Louis. I’m the drama teacher, so I promise I’m allowed to be here. Who are you?”

Zayn looks down at the proffered hand and, after a slight pause, shakes it. “Well, I’m Zayn. I teach English and I’m just starting this year.” He punctuates this with a wave of the book in his hand.

Louis’s eyes track the book and his eyes light up. 

“Oh, brilliant! I love that one. Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest.” This outburst is accompanied by Louis gazing mournfully at his armful of skeleton and stroking its skull. It lasts long enough that Zayn is starting to consider sneaking away when he’s confronted by the manic grin again. “Listen. I know we just met and all, but I need you to help me with this.”

“With...what exactly?” Zayn asks.

“Well, you see, old Larry here turns out to be a lot heavier than expected, and I can hardly be expected to get him on the roof by myself, can I?” He says this so matter-of-fact that Zayn is already helping before his brain catches up.

“Why exactly are we doing this?”

Louis grins conspiratorially in response. “Just giving the students a proper welcome back. Also, it drives Simon _mad_ when the skeleton goes missing and it’s just funny.”

Twenty minutes later, the skeleton is lashed to the roof over the front door and Zayn is watching Louis drive away, feeling a bit like he’s missed something crucial.

The next day, at the faculty meeting, Simon goes off on a rant about misappropriation of school supplies and Zayn spends the whole thing trying not to laugh at the faces Louis pulls in the background.

***

The first few weeks of term go by in a flash and Zayn finally starts to settle into his classes. It’s not much different from his stint as a student teacher, with the added relief of no one constantly checking over his work. He doesn’t have time to think about Louis until the day he notices the dog-eared copies of _Midsummer Night’s Dream_ that some of his students are toting around.

Mostly this confuses Zayn, as they aren’t due to read it for at least another month; possibly more, since _Hamlet_ has been slow-going, despite the murder. After a few days of careful eavesdropping, it becomes evident that not only is Louis the school-wide favorite, but that he’s also putting on a production of the play with his students. Everyone’s excitement over the play is infectious, which is why Zayn finds himself sneaking in the back door of rehearsals to watch.

Unfortunately, for all of Zayn’s eavesdropping, he misses that the play’s also going to be a _musical_.

Louis has all of his students sitting in a circle and is leading them all in a spirited discussion of its themes, and Zayn has to admit that he’s impressed; he’s never had that much discussion in his own classes. It’s clear that despite the cliche of being a Shakespeare-loving drama teacher, Louis knows what he’s talking about and is eager to share it with everyone. Zayn almost feels like he ought to be taking notes for his own class planning.

As the discussion winds down, everyone stands to start a read-through and Zayn leans forward eagerly in his chair in the corner. It’s good in an amateur sort of way until the student reading for Puck opens his mouth and suddenly starts to sing. He’s just starting to figure out that the noise on stage is supposed to be the melody of “We Are Young” when someone sits next to him, hand deep in a bag of crisps.

“Pretty dreadful, isn’t it? Crisp?”

Zayn just shudders in his seat. “Is it always like this? Why is this even happening?”

When Zayn shifts to look at the newcomer, he is greeted by a shock of blonde hair and a wide, easy smile. “Well, that’s easy enough to explain. See, we were out with my mate, Liam, and maybe just a tiny bit pissed when Louis started complaining about the lack of creativity in school productions. It went a little downhill once musicals came up. We’re all just lucky that Liam managed to talk him out of a cheerful interpretation of _Othello_ , really”

Zayn just stares back in mute horror. In the corner of his vision, he can see Louis flailing about on stage, trying to teach his students the _Inbetweeners_ dance.

“Anyway. Name’s Niall and I do the lighting and general prop...stuff for Louis. I haven’t seen you here before.” This statement is accompanied by a vague wave towards the back of the room.

“Er...Zayn. English teacher.” When Niall just smiles at him again and dives back into the crisps, Zayn sinks back in his seat and continues watching the disaster unfold on stage.

As it nears the two hour mark, Zayn starts wondering how much longer this is going to keep going and why the students haven’t asked to leave yet. His question is answered partway through Titania and Oberon’s argument, set to the tune of “Call Me Maybe,” and really, Zayn thinks he could die happy if he never has to listen to it again. One of the side doors is slowly pushed open to reveal a lanky man peering over a stack of white boxes. He’s humming along with the melody and shaking his copious amount of curls.

There’s a cry of “HAZZA!” from the stage and Niall swoops in to grab all the boxes right before the newcomer is tackled by a very enthusiastic Louis. Zayn watches curiously as the students all converge on Niall and start pulling all sorts of pastries and cakes out of the boxes. Niall eventually emerges from the fray with at least six pastries cradled in his hands and makes his way over to Zayn.

“Got you one to try.” Zayn eyes the piles of sugar being offered to him and carefully pulls a donut off the top.

“Thanks, mate. So who’s that then?” Zayn nods over to where Louis is draped all over Harry, trying to feed him a bit of cake.

Niall pauses his systematic destruction of sweets and glances over at the pair. “Oh, that’s just Harry. He works at the bakery down the street and I would say that he is my favorite because he brings me food, but I think Louis might take offense to it.” There is a pause, and then, “I’m actually not sure how Louis met him. He tends to collect people.”

Zayn thinks about the way that most of the school’s adult population seems to orbit around Louis, like they can’t help being drawn in. Filing away the info for later, he takes a bite into the donut that Niall liberated for him and instantly realizes why none of the students have complained. It’s the best donut he’s ever eaten.

***

Zayn doesn’t realize until a few weeks later that sneaking in the back of Louis’s rehearsals has become his favorite part of the day. He even has a usual spot in the back corner. Over time, that corner has been populated with a variety of squishy pillows that no one will own up to providing. He suspects that it’s a joint effort by Louis and Niall to ease the pain of sitting and listening to some very creative reinterpretations of the Backstreet Boys. Honestly, though, the entire experience is entirely worth it for the treats Harry brings them each day.

It’s toward the end of these few weeks that the usual routine is broken by the introduction of some sketchy prop construction. In theory, Niall is in charge of organizing that side of the production, but he spends most of the rehearsal time eating or chatting with Zayn about the students, and Zayn remains unconvinced--or he is until the mysterious appearance of a robotic sheep on the stage.

“Brilliant, isn’t it?” says Niall, sprawling in the space next to Zayn. “See, I was out for a pint with with Louis and he decided he absolutely needed his sheep to move and make noise. So I went home and threw this together right then.”

Zayn pauses and then says, very carefully, “So...you got drunk and built a robot...to bring into the school?”

“Like I said! Brilliant!” 

Zayn looks at the stage where several students are cautiously circling the sheep. “...Why did we need a sheep to being with?”

They are interrupted by Louis sweeping into the room behind them with a bang. He grabs Niall in a headlock and reaches over to ruffle at Zayn’s hair, much to his dismay. “Isn’t she beautiful? My Nialler’s done it again.” He leans farther over Niall’s shoulder and shouts up at the stage, “Well, let’s see what she can do, then!”

Titania reaches over and flicks the on switch by the sheep’s tail. There’s a whirring noise, something that might have been a sheep’s bleat...and the whole thing bursts into flames. There is a moment of stunned silence and then a lot of yelling as the students scatter. At some point in the chaos, the fire triggers the alarm system and Harry, who apparently came in after Louis, locates a small fire extinguisher. Zayn watches in bemused silence as Niall runs off to locate something unspecified and Louis curls up on the floor to giggle hysterically, yelling at Harry that someone named Liam will come save them like usual. 

By the time the lone fireman shows up, the robotic sheep is no longer on fire and Louis has somehow managed to gain control of the fire extinguisher. He is currently chasing a shrieking Harry around the auditorium with it. The fireman, who introduces himself as Liam, doesn’t seem at all surprised by this turn of events, and Zayn wonders, for the fourth time that day, when this became his life.

He doesn’t realize he’s spoken this thought aloud until Liam starts talking to him.

“You get pretty used to it with this lot. There’s a reason we made sure that most of this room was non-flammable, really. It’s safe from most of their prop malfunctions, but they like to keep me on-call during rehearsal hours, just in case.”

Zayn opens his mouth to answer, but is interrupted by Louis taking a flying leap at Liam’s shoulders. Liam just hoists him up piggy-back style and rolls his eyes.

“Liam! My hero, you’ve saved us from certain fiery peril! How ever shall I repay you?” Then, before Liam can even attempt to answer, Louis is digging his fingers into Liam’s sides. Liam yelps and drops into a laughing heap to the ground. They tussle for a few moments, Liam quickly getting the upper hand and sitting on Louis’s back, pinning him to the ground. Zayn is only slightly surprised at the vague jealousy in the back of his head; he’s not blind, after all, and Liam is definitely fit. Liam winks and grins broadly over at him and Zayn smiles back just as Niall returns, bag of crisps in hand.

“Oi, Nialler! Where’d you get off to?” Louis may be slightly squished, but it doesn’t diminish his enthusiasm. Niall just mutters and offers Zayn a crisp. There’s still smoke lingering in the air and when Harry wanders back over and sprawls on the floor by Zayn’s feet, it occurs to Zayn that he wouldn’t trade away any of this for the world.

***

It becomes a weekly tradition for their little group to meet at the local pub at the end of the week. The pints are cheap and Niall always manages to get them more than they actually paid for by flirting outrageously with the bartender. Her name is Demi and Zayn is pretty sure it’s only a matter of time before it turns into more than flirting.

Three short weeks before the play is set to open, they’re at their usual corner booth, littered in empty glasses. Across the table, Louis is close to being completely in Harry’s lap and more pissed than Zayn has ever seen him.

“Hazzaaaaaaaaaa, what if no one likes my play?” Louis drunkenly pokes at Harry’s face and his voice has gotten consistently more slurred the longer he talks. “Everyone will hate it and then I’ll have to move to Siberia out of shame. I can’t move to Siberia! I’ll freeze to death and everything will be terrible.”

Harry looks awfully busy petting at Louis’s head, so Zayn decides to intervene. “Louis, you are going to be fine. Everyone will remember their lines, nothing will light itself on fire that isn’t meant to be, and it’ll be adored by all. In fact, they’ll probably love it so much, they’ll ask you to do another next term.”

Louis takes a second to squint at him and then turns to squish his face into Harry’s chest, muttering about Siberian polar bears. Harry just makes a quiet shushing noise and slides the hand that isn’t buried in Louis’s hair up the back of his shirt to rub against the small of his back. Next to him, Liam shifts and clears his throat quietly, so Zayn turns towards him in the booth.

“Is he like this before every production?” Zayn asks.

Liam shrugs a shoulder and smiles indulgently across the table. “It was worse before Harry was here, really. At least now he has someone else to hang all over.”

At the head of the table, Niall snorts inelegantly and stands. “Wait till the day they stop being idiots and you’ll be seeing much more than some cuddles. Either of you lads fancy another?”

Liam shakes his head and Zayn says, “Nah, we better get these two home, but I bet Demi’s off shift soon. I sure she’d love one after putting up with you all night.” Zayn winks and Niall just sticks out his tongue and wanders away to the bar.

Liam shifts out of the booth and stands with a slow stretch that reveals a strip of skin as his shirt rides up. Zayn is distracted enough by imagining how it would taste if he leaned over to lick at his stomach that Liam has to actually wave a hand in front of his face. Zayn drags his eyes back up to Liam’s face guiltily. Liam smiles at him, wide and easy, and offers Zayn a hand up.

“I’ll take Louis, you grab Harry?” he asks, as he easily pulls Zayn to his feet. Zayn is mesmerized by the flex of Liam’s bicep, and maybe he’s drunker than he thought.

“Uh..yeah, sure. That’s fine.” They end up having to pry Harry and Louis apart. Louis immediately latches onto Liam, hanging off his shoulder, face buried in the crook of Liam’s neck. Harry is less handsy, but he’s taller than Zayn, so it gets awkward until Zayn manages to maneuver him into leaning heavily into his side. With everyone situated, Liam tosses a few notes on the table and they head out with a final wave at Niall, who is already deep into another drink at the bar.

They pour Louis and Harry into the backseat of a cab, Zayn cramming in with them while Liam goes around to sit in the front and gives the driver Harry’s address. A glance over at Harry and Louis shows that they have basically fallen asleep on each other, so Zayn leans forward to talk to Liam a bit.

“So, I can’t believe I’ve never asked you before, but how’d you end up with this lot anyway?”

Liam sends a fond look in Louis’s direction. “I practically grew up with Louis and well, he doesn’t let go of people easy. It was a bit of a relief when the local department hired me right when Louis was trying to decide if he was going to take this job. Don’t know that he’d have done it otherwise.”

The conversation turns to Zayn’s classes, and he spends the rest of the ride to Harry’s flat making Liam laugh with stories about his students and Louis’s on-going campaign of terrorizing Simon by stealing his lab supplies and hiding them around the school. Finally, after Louis and Harry have been safely seen home, Liam climbs into the backseat with Zayn, giving the cabbie his own address. A comfortable silence falls over them as Liam sits back and lets his eyes slip half-closed.

Zayn finds himself watching Liam out of the corner of his eye. The streetlights cast a warm glow over his face, creating shadows that emphasize the lines of his face. As he watches, Liam absently licks his lips and Zayn feels himself flush and forces himself to look forward again, before he does something stupid. He’s focusing so hard on not looking that he totally misses the look Liam shoots him and the way that his hand shifts towards Zayn on the seat between them.

The taxi finally pulls up in front of Liam’s flat. There is a pause where Liam looks a bit conflicted, but when he turns to smile at Zayn, all he says is, “I suppose I’ll be seeing you sooner rather than later, then.” And then he’s gone.

***

Liam’s parting words prove entirely too accurate when, a mere three days later, another robotic sheep goes up in flames mid-rehearsal. Unfortunately, this time Zayn is actually standing halfway across the stage from it, helping Louis set up the forest backdrop. Their only warning is a loud, high-pitched whir, followed by a sudden pop. Louis lets out a shriek and drops to the ground, wildly swatting his leg, where it looks like his pants might be in danger of catching fire. As Zayn drops his half of the backdrop, he feels a few stray bits of metal go flying past his arm.

When Liam shows up ten minutes later, the sheep is still smoldering and Louis is being comforted by Harry and some cupcakes. He deals with it quickly and then rushes over to where Zayn is huddled in his pile of pillows.

“What’s happened? I mean.. I see what’s happened, but are you alright?”

Zayn rubs a bit more at his arm and looks up. “Yeah... no, I mean, I’m fine. There was just...the hoof maybe came flying at me, somehow. My arm....”

Liam’s eyes widen and he bats away Zayn’s hands. “You have to let me look at it. Why didn’t you say right away?”

“It’s fine.... really. I didn’t even really get cut....” Zayn trails off as his hand is pulled away and onto Liam’s lap, where he leans over to check the area over. If he’s being honest with himself, all the attention that Liam is giving him is making his chest feel a bit funny. _Get a grip, Malik_ , Zayn thinks. _He’s just being nice. It’s his job._ But then Liam looks up at him with a smile and Zayn just knows that he’s royally fucked.

“Looks like you’ll be just fine. Maybe next time, double-check with Niall before turning things on?” Niall shifts guiltily in his seat and avoids looking over at them.

“Hey...it’s ok. I’m fine, Louis is fine, and the school isn’t on fire, so I think we did pretty well for ourselves.” Liam is still fussing at his arm, so Zayn twists it to grab Liam’s hand, weaving their fingers together. Liam goes still and then shoots a quick look up at Zayn who responds by grabbing his chin with his free hand and tilting Liam’s face up farther. “Really, I’m fine.”

A weighted silence lingers until Louis lets out an indignant squawk and Zayn abruptly pulls his hands back onto his own lap. As Liam stands to go see what’s happening, Niall coughs quietly and raises a single eyebrow at Zayn. Zayn flushes and looks back down at his hands, rubbing them awkwardly on his thighs and pretends that he can’t feel the fluttering in the pit of his stomach.

***

The week leading up to opening night are fraught with nerves, leaving Louis even more manic than usual. It gets bad enough that Harry threatens to stop bringing treats unless Louis stopped trying to make his two pages’ worth of changes.

Before the first show, Zayn ducks backstage to where Liam is doing a last minute check of Niall’s robotic props, and sees Louis trying to talk his Titania out from hiding in the corner. Zayn is not convinced that yelling at her that she’s better than Katy Perry is an effective teaching method, but at least the crying seems to have quieted down. Not seeing Harry anywhere, he edges over to Liam and nudges his shoulder, which gets him a squeak.

“Oh hello! You startled me. What’s up?” 

“Just saying hi. Was looking for Harry, I thought we could go save some seats?” Zayn peers around the room again.

“Ah, I haven’t seen him. I would ask Louis, but...he has his hands a bit full right now.” They both look over at the corner where Titania is still crying, a friend having joined in. 

Zayn winces. “Yeah...Well if you see Harry, let him know that I’ve got three seats saved for us in the front.” Liam smiles up at him and goes back to tinkering with the sheep.

Once he’s in his seat, he sends Harry a text. **Hey, where are you?**

Ten minutes later he gets back: **Sorryyyyyy. Setting up Lou’s flat for the party later. Be there soon! :)**

He settles in to wait as the auditorium starts to fill up behind him, waving at a few of his students as they come in. Liam finally joins him with a relieved sigh.

“All set back there, then?” Zayn asks.

“I think I’ve done just about all I can with those sheep, really. It’ll just have to do,” Liam replies.

Harry arrives just minutes before curtain and then it begins.

It goes off without a hitch. None of the sheep spontaneously combust, everyone hits their cues, and the audience laughs in all the right places. After a standing ovation, the three of them run backstage to congratulate everyone. Harry ends up launching himself at Louis, nearly knocking him over, and proceeds to start enthusiastically kissing him right there.

Zayn just snorts quietly and nudges Liam. “Gotten their shit together, have they?” He glances over at Liam and his next words die on his lips because Liam is looking up at him hopefully and he knows that look. Zayn licks his lips uncertainly and then reaches out to brush the back of Liam’s hands. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” say Liam, as he twists his wrist to link their fingers together. The moment is broken when there is a catcall from one of the students and they look over to where Louis is definitely working his hands up the back of Harry’s shirt. Liam pulls away with to shout at Louis about public indecency in schools while Zayn just laughs at all of them.

They all reconvene at Louis’s flat for the after-party with all his students. Harry’s outdone himself with decorations and massive platters of food and desserts. Zayn spends the party with Liam tucked against his side and feeling remarkably smug about his life. It finally winds down with the 5 of them curled up in Louis’s living room, ignoring the mess around them.

Niall finally stands, looking down at them all. “Well, I’m off, lads. Good work, Tommo, and I’ll see you all tomorrow for the show. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He winks and wanders out, grabbing one of the leftover pastries as he leaves. 

Louis appears to be trying to send Zayn some sort of message with his eyebrows, so Zayn stands, pulling Liam up with him. “Well, I guess we’ll be off as well. Um.. I can come back tomorrow after school to help clean some of this up, if you’d like.”

“That’d be lovely,” Louis replies. “Harry here can make us all a nice dinner.” He punctuates the statement with a wink and then stands to drag Harry off in the direction of his bedroom.

Liam looks after him fondly until Zayn clears his throat. “So...I don’t suppose you want to go back to mine, then?”

Liam’s grin gets bigger as squeezes tighter at Zayn’s hand. “And what exactly do you propose we do when we get there?”

“I suppose we’ll think of something,” Zayn replies. He leans down to whisper in Liam’s ear. “I’ve always liked a man in a uniform, not that you’ll be needing it for what I have planned.” And with that, he drags Liam out the door.

***

The next morning, Louis shows up to the morning teacher’s meeting a good twenty minutes late and endures a lot of teasing from Niall about the bruises peeking out from the top of his shirt collar. Zayn manages to miss the meeting entirely. He wakes up to Liam draped warmly over his left side and his idea of showering together to save time ends up not saving any time at all.

He manages to make it into school just before the first bell and is gratified to see that Louis’sleft him a donut on his desk--or rather, he is until he lifts the donut to see the note that Louis has left him on the plate in his messy scrawl:

_Next term: Henry V, Disney!_


End file.
